Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I guess I spoke too soon....

.... not that the bike has broken down or anything. It still runs fine and I did manage to get it home again so I think mechanically it's OK.

'Cause it will need a new fairing and a wingmirror. Oh, and the footpeg is a bit bent and that put a dent in the exhaust. And my boot is now missing a toe slider but it's still wearable. Obviously my foot is bruised as well as my chest and my shoulder but luckily the jacket took the brunt of it without sustaining any real damage so I won't need to get a new one. All in all it could have been a lot worse.

Oh, haven't I mentioned? Went into the side of a van whilst going to work yesterday morning. Don't really know what happened. Swerved to avoid some crap on the road as I came round a corner and met a Mercedes Vito coming the other way doing the same thing. I did stay on but my journey was over. The guy in the van was a nice bloke which was a bit of luck. "..these things happen..", "..nothing you could have done.." which made things easier. Now though it's in the hands of the gods, or worse, the insurance company. I suspect i'll be paying to sort out my own damage as i'm only TPFT and at the most it's going to be a no-faulter. So if anyone knows of an offside fairing lower, preferably in the '98 Red/Black colour scheme then please let me know.

Friday, June 24, 2005



1. Are You Ready to Leave?: Definition of the Word YES
2. Appropriate Rhetorical Questions (formerly titled "Honey, Do I Look Fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading
4. Crying and Law Enforcement
5. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
6. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours
7. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
8. The Seven-Outfit Week
9. PMS:It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine ("It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With it")
10.Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmission
11. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money
17. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We Forget Birthdays, You Forget Sports Stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper Response to Other Couple's Public Arguments

And in the interest of impartiality.


1. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
3. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during half time.
4. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
5. The funniest guy in the office would get to be boss.
6. At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
7. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
8. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
9. Garbage would take itself out.
10. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps".
11. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!".
12. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
13. St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.
14. The only show opposite Match of the Day would be Match of the Day from a Different Camera Angle.
15. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
16. Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
17. Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as the bike breaks down again.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

meme #2

Times New Roman has passed this meme over.

1) If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
I would like the power of inner illumination so those myopic bastards in 4x4's could see me coming. Mind you, they would have to learn to look first.

2) Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
It's probably Holly Hunters voice but I did find Elastigirl strangly appealing. Failing that and I know i've mentioned this before but Judge Anderson is my ultimate comic babe. I know she's not a super hero but I don't care.

3) Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
I used to hate everything from Marvel comics. They just seemed too bloody American compared to DC (apart from the JLA of course). Then i read 'Daredevil - Born Again' by Frank Miller and I was a convert. Mind you, if Stan Lee keeps saturating the market with movie after movie I could go off them again.

4) What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
Bearing in mind my choice of superpower I name myself 'HALO'.

5) Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?
I have always liked the Dark Knight himself, Batman. You see, he's not a 'super' hero. He has no special powers, never been dowsed in radiation or bitten by a mutant hedgehog, he's not an alien or an ancient god. He's just a normal (albeit very rich) bloke who watched his parents get shot when he was a nipper and vowed to avenge their death. Oh, and he's just the tiniest bit psycho.

Pass it on. Three people please, and why.
The obvious one is Psychbloke, comic reader extrordinaire but I know he doesn't like memes much. Number two is The Bubaker over at Mad TV, just curious what a computer geek used to read when he was growing up. And finally Mick at Never Mind the Bloggocks. I reckon he's read the odd graphic novel in his time.

Knock yourself out guys.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Thought for the day.


It's not what it used to be is it?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Baby's on the road again.

What a great journey I had into work this morning.

ON MY BIKE!!!!!!!!!
Yes that's right, my pussy'cat' has come through its heart transplant and is now purring better than ever. Really pleased with how the whole process went. Started stripping the bike down Friday evening, got the engine ready for removal between the rain on Saturday then Sunday saw the swap go smoother than smooth. Old block out and new block in in twenty minutes. The only problems I came up with were a badly frayed throttle cable and a mis-wired neural switch, both of which were quickly overcome.

Back on the road and it's good to see all my old friends are still there. The X5 driver who always seems to be overtaking, even when there's something coming the other way. The silver Vectra who's always up for a race (some people never learn) and that old dear in the Rover 100 Kensington with the 40mph fetish (she does it everywhere, down main roads, round country lanes, past primary schools).

Oh happy days are here again.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Lifes simple pleasures

A huge thanks to Katy over at Flipping Heck for posting this.

Unsurprisingly, this weeks most punched face, the hugely irritating small-membered amphibian. Go knock yourself out.